Infectus Carmen
by Julye
Summary: As he the cold darkness turned to vanish into thin air, the sunshine herself came to the point of shattering into pieces. The rain would cease, the mist would fade, but the pain would forever remain in her immortality. Zero x Yuuki. Sorta poetic.
1. Luminarium and Acerbus

**Hello~**

Well, I still can't believe that I'm here eventually. Don't ask, since I can't even bring myself to remember the reason why. But I guess, it's mostly because I've been into this manga lately (Actually, it's Zero I'm into), and blame DGM hiatus -_sighs-_  
Anyway, I don't really have anything to say, considering this was the first time I ever tried writing something this serious, and you might have a lot of things to complain after reading it. Even though I actually made a success in **Humor**, I love to write **Angst** and **Tragedy** still. Hence I bring you my first attempt in this kind of writing. It might be my last, who knows? _-chuckles-_

Also I feel like warning you that **I'm an artist**, or trying to be one, **not a writer**, so don't expect too much XD  
Though I would be very appreciated if you took a little of your precious time to read and review.  
**Thank you~**

**[To Teacher: Click to my penname - Julye loves Lavi - to go to my profile and get my Email Address. I knew I was right and you were not!]  
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- **I** n **f** e **c** t **u** s . **C** a **r** m **e** n – **A** n . **U** n **f** i **n** i **s** h **e** d **. S** o **n** g -

**Summary:**  
_As he the cold darkness turned to vanish into thin air, the sunshine herself came to the point of shattering into pieces. The rain would cease, the mist would fade, but the pain would forever remain in her immortality. Believing their love could see them through in death, the death that do them not part, she would choose to stay still, or to slip away?_ **Zero x Yuuki.**

**Warning in this chapter:** (and this whole story so far)  
Angst. Very depressing. _Happy ending? I'll think about it._  
Messy, lame, complicated, and disappointing?  
Horror and Supernatural in later chapters (Because the authoress freaking loves Supernatural and Ghost stories!)  
Poetic. Well, that's what all of my friends told me, I don't even know if it can count as a warning.  
**ZeroYuuki**, as the summary has mentioned. Not their supporter, not gonna blame me since it's obviously not my fault for disappointing you.  
A bit random Latin. Because I love it!!!!! It might not be correct though, -coughcough- since I've learned it all by myself...

**Word Count:** 2,915

**Disclaimer:**  
Lavi: Jul-chan doesn't own Vampire Knight nor anything but me. After stealing me from Hoshino-sensei that is. -_grins_-  
Jul: Right! _-runs away from rabid fangirls-_

_Okay here goes~_

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1 - **L u m i n a r i u m . **a n d .** A c e r b u s**

_(Light and Dark)_

There is no miracle greater than love. As ordinary as love can be sometimes, or as sublime as it seems in other moments. On the contrary, it is no difficult to discover the other side standing behind its sweet sweet facade, the most deeply unsaid painful mystery as love itself. No words are powerful enough to bring up the revelation in what is said, and what is not said, but truly felt. Of pain and sorrow.

Of contrast.

And blend.

Dancing slowly off the moonlit snow, the wind swept pleasure through her lovely auburn locks and made its way forward, adoring her beauty enjoyably. The night would blow away traces of everything but her. No matter how dark the night, she still shined. She always would.

_She was the light._

Dark auburn hair going past delicate shoulders, highlighting those gorgeous crimson-amber eyes which always seemed to reflect the burning beauty of the world on their owns. Having born for the snow as her name it was, her possession of the kindest and selfless heart along with her prettiness had brought on a great undeniable jealousy of the Ice Queen who covered the Earth with a breathtaking cloak and her freezing hell.  
_Even the King of the Night wanted to have her._

No one else could know, no longer did she stand alone under that velvet moon. Not anymore, ever since that fateful day had come to her life. The night she had met a hollow soul. Reluctantly and painfully, he walked into her nameless world, the silver haired boy whose tortured amethystus eyes filled with burning hatred and body covered in blood and blood and blood. Blood that his very dear family had shed in front of his helpless eyes because of that woman. Blood that had been sucked out of his body, drop by drop, leaving his almost lifeless husk laying in a pool of his own red liquid, his soul already voided. Blood that had dripped on his name, bringing a forever cruel oath to the rest of his entire cursed life.  
Blood that had tainted his wounded soul, crept into his beautiful orbs and promised to lacerate them, to replace them, to fill their faded color with the crimson that had dyed his damned life in sickening red and endless tears…  
Blood that had shackled him to the cruelty of the dark night…that had sent him from emptiness to nothingness, as the lowest inferior night creature forevermore as he himself had become…

_He was the dark._

And nothingness was his own name.

Passing through a thousand dark moons, passing through her truly undisguised, glowing fascination as the way she was, and going further apart from his deeply grim self-loathing and the incontestable state of a sinful immortal creature, extraordinarily breathtakingly beautiful was never good enough to refer to him and his beauty. Tall, shapely and well-built figure with pale white skin wearing an emotionless expression hidden under heavenly vivid silver locks were far more than any day dreaming girl could ever wish of their imaginary hero. Nonetheless, all of those things just happened to show their reverence to the most glorious eyes in the world. Moonstone lavender mirrors, despite the great hatred burning inside with no attempt of hiding nor burying, always seemed to hold every single piece of the tempting icy cold. Even the bloody crimson hue that had been taking over his humanity day by day could not even drown the hypnotic glamor of those amethystus violet jewels.

Like her allure, his charm was also guilelessly indescribable.

If her dark amber windows of soul were filled with love and warmth of the Sun, his owns were silver cages that holding nothing but hate and hate and hate and frosty tears that he forever refused to shed.  
Hate for the Queen of Night, who had always wanted and needed and desired. Him, his blood, his damnation and his eyes of hatred, detestation and resentment that all belonged to her, the Queen of Insanity, and her only.

_Hate and hatred.  
Loathing and resentment.  
Blood and gore._

Like the ironic fate had been settled from the very beginning, the existence of her _the Light_ and her enchanted beauty and warmest heart was destined to embrace him _the Dark_ and his broken soul, to melt the long forgotten frozen moonstones of amethyst and wipe away all of those unswallowed, frosty tears from his beautiful face.

Her existence was for _him_ _and_ _only him_.

And the young innocent girl had been bonded to the boy's doomed life from that day forward. It was their curse.  
_His curse._

_In four years._

Four years of sorrow, misery, loneliness, solitariness…  
Of struggling and fighting and almost losing _all alone_ in that living hell.  
Of fear and tears and blood and self-restraint.  
_Of pain and pain and pain…_

Every single second passed by had been becoming the worst of his hellish never-ending nightmare, and step by step, shoving him closer and closer to the opening cold Gate of Hell that had always been waiting for the day to eat up the rest of his humanity and making him become one of its own detestable creatures.  
Every single day went by had been an irresistibly losing battle of the painful struggle within, and he knew better than most that he was losing it.  
Even though he would break through all of his strength and his very last breath at the very last moment just to resist and fight back, he knew he was still going to lose it.  
Faster than a blink of time. Sooner than his thoughtful tortured mind could ever reach.

_That was enough._

Four year long was all too much.

Being by his side all the time beings, nevertheless, she had got to know nothing. Surely, it was not her to blame since all of his long-term suffering had been no concern of hers, and she didn't deserve to get all worked up over such impure things of himself, did she? It wasn't worth it, and really, she should never have gotten her hand on this kind of dirty things, just as she did.

_But she did_.

Somehow, he couldn't help but wonder, just wonder, that whether he should call her a stubborn and crazed idiot for risking her dear life for the hell of a disgusting beast such as himself, or consider her as his very precious guardian angel that was Heaven sent to his damned life, in order to pull him away from his bottomless hole of grief and sorrow.  
He wondered whether he should be angry at her for getting herself into so much of troubles, his unsolvable troubles, or deeply grateful for her always being silly and persistent enough to insist on staying by his side in spite of all the forthcoming dangers which always seemed to aim at him and his already messy so-called life.  
But most of all, he wondered how come he could allow her to do those things and let her come closer and closer to his shielded world than anyone ever could while he hadn't been supposed to do so in the first place.  
At all.

Why did the Beauty just have to care _so much_ for the Beast?  
He just couldn't understand.

And maybe, maybe he would never understand.  
Considering this angel in disguise being dogged and all was just an obviously unconvincing lie he was trying to put up so as to hide something inside that he couldn't even define exactly.  
But little did he know that was, in that selfless heart of hers stood an enigma of the absolute. She was not insane, nor too blind to understand what she had been trying to do. In a sense, she had been no different from any normal girl.

Like them, she had grown up in her little own world, dreaming of a Great Prince Charming roamed the blue blue skies above as though waiting for the right moment to show up in life, her dreaming beautiful life, snatch her up and carry her away from a world full of dangers and grief and shrouded gloom, to one of eternal bliss.

_We'd been dreaming for so long, but who can deny? _

So she had dreamed and dreamed and dreamed. Unlike others, her Prince Charming wasn't far far away from any fairy tale but right beside her. He was right there, always and always, by her side, not merely a Prince of a figment but a King, a real powerful King, and her dearest Savior.  
She had always loved him and still she had kept dreaming and dreaming her little dream, waiting and waiting for what she couldn't quite understand and give credit for.  
Yet, being side by side with the tortured soul, she still had loved her dark-haired Charming King.  
The King of the cruel Night.  
And she always had. Or at least she had thought so, until that night.  
Another twisting, bloody night as the cruel fate suddenly wanted to continue the merciless game that once had been set for the beautiful silver-haired ex-human. The game of blood and sins that had cost him his humanity.

He had lost it. _Eventually._

After four whole year long of nothing but the worst nightmare that even scared the Devils to death.

_That had been all too much._

Too much for a broken soul to hurdle.  
The dark himself could no longer restrain it, his strength of human was fading away, never coming back.  
He had lost it, the already losing battle from the beginning. To himself. He had no choice but to give in.

As the Dark reached out to taste for the first time the sweet sweet precious red liquid running through that soft, delicate flesh of the Light, Heaven and Hell came crashing to each other and the unforgivable sin was condemned.  
Silently, yet faster than a speed of lightning, the Light was nothing but immediately and completely out of her seemed endless sweet dreams and there she stood, wide-eyed and shocked and _hurt and hurt and hurt._  
Not for herself.  
But him and _only him._  
Just as before. Just as always.  
It hurt her so much seeing him like this. It hurt her so much not realizing a single of pain he had always been suffering in such a long long time, all alone. It hurt her so much…just knowing that it hurt him was more than enough to shove her into a hole of lances and spears.  
It hurt her so much just because she didn't even know why it hurt.

_Out of dream. Out of order. _

No more daydreaming of the King. No more daydreaming of the oh-so-white and wedded bliss. All she could ever cared at this very moment was just him and only him, the same boy who had taken his first hesitant step into her life, with the same ceaseless sorrow and torment. No, it was way much more than she had ever seen before. Those same tortured orbs were now covered with creepy scarlet every time the beast within stirred up, amethyst still holding so tight the deep hatred for so long ago, but adding some more colorless pieces of bloodlust and great self-disgust and loathing and unhidden resentment and icy indifference.  
And yet again, the bloody tears he still insisted on swallowing.

She just couldn't take it anymore.

No, she was not going to stay here and watch and stare and gaze and be nothing but a perfect onlooker as he was slipping away from her. She was going to save him, to be his guardian angel and stay by his side forever.

_Forever._

And then all Hell broke loose again as the tainted Light and the wounded Dark one more time committed the unforgivable sin and earned another deadly sentence by blending themselves in the pool of sinful blood.

And at that moment, the Dark Knight knew he had fallen…

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**To be continued?**

This is the first chapter of the prologue. I did intend to write it in only one chapter, but it was getting outta my hand, so I decided to lengthen it to 3, before getting onto the story. Or 4, I dunno~

Well, I don't even know if I can continue this story, though I'm done with chapter 2. Care to tell me?  
And sorry for those Latin, I just felt like using it. As you can see my English is not perfect at all, so critics are welcomed. Flames? Hm, I don't think so...(but if ya hate me that much, go ahead XD)  
Anyway, thank you so much for taking your precious time to read this (lame) story. It's my first attempt after all, and to get it done, I had to depress myself to get inspiration. So, review to make me feel better?

**~Julye**


	2. Lux Lucis Princess and her Miles Militis

**Hello all**~ I'm back! Sorry for the long wait, I've been pretty busy with studying and drawing (and reading manga -_coughs_-) lately. I hope you understand.  
Thank you for those who reviewed and left me your sweet sweet reviews, they're truly appreciated and I already replied to you all. Thank you again, I will definitely try my best not to let you down.

Btw I just finished reading MeruPuri a week ago, which I had never intended to read before since it's a shoujo manga, and now I have to say..well...it's soooooo sweet! I'm totally in love with it! If Zero and Yuuki could get a little piece of their happy ending...I would die, willingly and immediately! In happiness, of course! If only..._-daydreams-  
_And I've joined the Zeki FC! MY ZEKI-MATES I LOVE YOU ALL!

Okay enough of my insanity. Now back to the story. This is the second part of the prologue, which I assume is not as good as the first part and I bet I made a lot of mistakes this time. Forgive me, ne? -_bows head-_

**Summary:**  
_As he the cold darkness turned to vanish into thin air, the sunshine herself came to the point of shattering into pieces. The rain would cease, the mist would fade, but the pain would forever remain in her immortality. Believing their love could see them through in death, the death that do them not part, she would choose to stay still, or to slip away?_ Zero x Yuuki.

**Warning in this chapter:**  
Angst. Very depressing still. A bit bittersweet.(It counts as sweetness in my own language)  
Messier, lamer, more complicated, and more disappointing?  
ZeroYuuki, as the summary has mentioned. Not their supporter, not gonna blame me since it's obviously not my fault for disappointing you.  
A bit random Latin. And some of the old English, I guess.  
This one turned out a bit like Yuuki's POV. Though you guys should know by now that I'm not really her fan howsoever. I'm writing this for Zero, as obvious as it is.

**Word Count:** 3,216 (- -")

**Disclaimer:**  
Lavi: Jul-chan still doesn't own Vampire Knight nor anything but me and my FC.  
Jul: Shhh, stop saying that, it's a dark secret! Want me to get killed that much, Lavi-dear?

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2 - **T h e **.** L u x **.** L u c i s **.** P r i n c e s s** .a n d.** h e r **.** M i l e s **.** M i l i t i s**

_(The Light Princess and her Knight)_

_'And then all Hell broke loose again as the tainted Light and the wounded Dark one more time committed the unforgivable sin and earned another deadly sentence by blending themselves in the pool of sinful blood.' _

And at that moment, the Dark Knight knew he had fallen and fallen and fallen, deeply into the inviting and tempting darkness. Into the immeasurably never-ending agony that he himself would never ever be able to escape anymore.  
Into the miserably awaiting death that he had just signed his own name in.

Obviously, there was no any possible way to resist the ironic truth that even the Princess of the Light had been also pulled down alongside him.

Stupid.

However, it was never a thing for the Princess to mind. No, she couldn't find any good reason to bring herself to care at all. And feeling the need to prove her very persevering point, she came under the oh-so-familiar pale and hazy moon, absolutely painted in dully stormy gray-violet, the strange color she had grown unconsciously to love so much, and she vowed in the name of an unknown God, that the day she left her cursed Knight's side would definitely the day Hell froze all over and she would be damned to that freezing Hell for the rest of her life and afterlife and so on. The most stupid thing on Earth she had ever said, he might think, but she was not going to take it back, nor regret it one bit. For once in her life, the thoughts of the others and even her dear Savior no longer mattered.

She couldn't quite name this strange sensation that had seemed to grow stronger and stronger inside of her heart, all she could manage to realize that she was given a great irresistible urge to walk closer into his world. It was almost an impossible thing and nobody in this world was brave nor crazy enough to stick their necks out over such a thing that they all knew too well what would be awaiting them at the end.  
Nobody but her.

_I'll come into your world, see through your eyes…_

Thus, the Princess decided to take a step forward without any hesitation. Knowing he was actually the one who had walked into her small world, reluctantly or not, and since then gotten to know every single thing of hers like reading the back of his hand, it would be way too unfair for her always being thrown away and shut out of the front door led to his world. That was annoying, yet the stubborn, chocolate haired Princess was not gonna give in so easily. She had promised to herself that she would keep trying.  
Somehow she found herself smiling faintly. She had prepared well enough before taking that fateful step, fully aware that there was no turning back whatsoever for now.  
She didn't mind.

If his world were too cold that everything inside had been frozen all over, she would burn herself alive as a ceaseless flame to warm him up.  
If his world were too droughty that everything had been withered and died down one by one, she would drown herself deeply into the ocean so as to be a never-ending rain to bring him back to life.  
If there were nothing but black, she would definitely paint it white. Oh, and blue, and pink, and her favorite color, violet either. Colorful, she chuckled.  
If it were covered in blood and blood and blood, she would be careful, very very careful to clean up all of his wounds without hurting him any further, and then she would get them all bandaged with her soft, soft hands and fingers. If it was her blood that flooding his world, well, then she would keep bleeding for him until the point he didn't need her anymore. No no, she would give it to him till the day she exhaled her last breath and left this world, because he was never one to admit that he needed anything. She was no exception.

What if he kept shoving her away over and over again?  
Of course, she would immediately stand up and chasing after him again. It would be an unending circle, she knew it, because he sure would keep pushing her away from his sight, for her own safety, and she, being as stubborn as the way she was, would keep on following him everywhere, and trying over and over again.  
She had made herself a promise that she would keep on trying, hadn't she? Nothing could be strong enough to tear her and her promise apart.

And if his world had a place for her…even if it was a very very tiny space, she would…Well, maybe, just maybe, she would ask him if she could stay there for a little while…  
With him…  
No, that was insane! If that was ever possible, she would make sure to stay there for the rest of her life. With or without his permission.  
_She would stay forever._

That was getting ridiculously out of reach. She didn't have any idea how come that thought could sneak onto her mental system. But one thing was for sure, she would gladly say it again and again, though she still didn't quite understand why. However, for now all she could give thought to was keep on trying her best. She wanted nothing more than to help him, to save him. No matter how long it took her to say it was okay, no matter how long it took him to understand that there was nothing to be ashamed, nor to blame himself.  
Because it was her to blame, for being so stupid and careless not knowing how much suffering her best friend had been through in four years, for being so useless not having been able to do anything to help him but stand there and play a perfect role of an outsider as he hopelessly struggled with the beast inside.  
For wanting nothing more than to help him live on by offering her own precious, sweet blood, but end up shoving him deeper to the pool of guilt and desperation for unwillingly hurting her, the last person in the world he ever wanted to hurt.  
And most of all, it was her to blame for caring for him that much, too much that she didn't think she could live without doing so, yet she still couldn't quite realize where all those feelings came from.

She thought, she was such an idiot.

Still, she didn't stop hoping. No more did she day dream of such fairy tales nor anything of the like, she was too busy keeping her head awake to prevent him from running away, and worrying all the time that he would leave her side someday, and at this rate, she could throw everything away in a fraction of any minute to run around and around the academy, or even the entire world, just to find him. She was worried so much, thinking of him so much that she couldn't help dreaming of the day he would finally open the cold, lonely door which always stood there, in front of her amber eyes, so near, so close, yet so far, so distant for her small, caring and almost pleading hand to reach.

_Why? Why is it so hard to keep her promise?_

She kept reminding herself not to give up. She told herself not to cry, and to keep on trying. She needed to be strong. She was strong.  
She had been through what seemed like forever to reach this state. She had done things normal people would never ever do, she had gotten over the most frightening forest of fear, the most hellish river of hesitation, she had even passed through what seemed like a thousand winters long of tears and the coldest frozen ocean to reach that wall. The solid, invisible wall that he had tried so hard to build up in order to isolate himself from the world, the cruel and merciless world that he had come to hate so much. The unbreakable wall covered with frosty air and sharp, sharp icy cold that all you could do was nothing but look and look and die slowly from that killer coldness yet its glamor still didn't allow anyone to look away.  
Coming and dying, lost in the beauty of his bitterly freezing hell and gone forever.  
No one ever came back.  
No one was ever able to walk through that wall.  
Yet again, no one but her.

Embracing the usual, bright smile, the Light-Princess solemnly walked over the lonely darkly icy shield and her sweet sweet smile started to get warmer and warmer. She looked at it with her oh-so-sweet-and-tender expression, two gentle yet symmetrically fascinating orbs sparkling in the cold darkness as her sunlight heart reached out. She smiled.

And then she bled.

_To fulfill her promise, she was bleeding for him._

As the precious ruby-like liquid flooding through the frosty blackness with the caring smile never once left her rosy lips, the coldness was _almost_ ripped apart and the unbreakable, crystal wall was shockingly convulsed and came crumbled down completely, revealing the thick smell of blood pouring down on her trembling figure as the midnight cruel darkness gazed at her, wanting nothing more than to savor her gauzy line of life and her sweet sweet blood.  
She then realized she had been right.  
His world was indeed painted with black and red. Black of unlimited darkness and nothingness that she was the one who had drowned him in since day one and never let him go. Red for countless blood and unshed bloody tears and everything but happiness and nothing but pain and pain and pain.

Through a thousand dark moons  
Through a thousand winters long  
Over and over the deepest boundless misery  
Behind that lonely door,  
Where the time had stopped, the flames had ceased,  
And her pale, saddening eyes could not reach,  
Her delicate, trembling fingers could not touch,  
He stood there, wearing a wounded soul, darkening lavender color withering at every single step that brought her closer to him.

_Her light was his sin. His darkness made him her sinner._

The door was so close. He was so close.  
But once again, silently and hopelessly she stood, trying in vain to reach for the door. It remained unmoved and either did she. Pleading eyes started getting blurred as tears falling down, withholding to stop, knowing and feeling deep down the pain was slowly eating up his hollow soul as the Knight stubbornly kept on standing still in the dark, chaining himself to the loneliness and solitariness. She could almost feel the soft breath of sorrow clenching her aching heart, the smell of blood continued to pour down on her and the gaze of darkness didn't fade.

The Light wasn't fazed. Her determination wasn't wrecked in the slightest. She was closer than ever and she refused to stop trying. Reaching for his heart to find there pain was laid, the Princess continued her endless dream.  
_Just one step closer._  
The stubborn Dark would have to give in and let her into his world.  
Let her know what was standing behind the door.

If her sunlight was the only thing and everything that could fill the black hole of emptiness in his wounded spirit and bring on the never-once-existed will of his life, his bloody darkness was the only thing and everything for her to shine.

As the ever shining Sun she was, she would willingly sacrifice her precious light and leave everything gray just to be capable enough to reach for him the frozen Moon and bring the enchanting, velvet violet back to where it truly belonged to.  
And fill his voided soul with her light.  
And her eyes would once again be blinded with his luminous light, the light shaded with argentum-amethystus moonstone burning in every single piece of his own strong heart and the love hidden so well that no one would ever notice.  
The light that only belonged to his beautiful eyes, the most stunning gorgeous thing she'd ever grown to love so dearly.  
The light that only shined for her and forever belonged to her.

She loved his eyes and everything about him. She truly did, and she knew that she would do anything to break these chains and unlock the door so as to admire his grace once again. She would give him the light of her soul, just like the immortal sun had made a thousand nights for the broken moon to hold on, and crush him in her eternal embrace, yet still struggling in vain to stop herself from meeting with the glimmers within his weary orbs, too afraid to get lost in them once she glimpsed their beauty.  
However, it was too less to deny and always, always she just couldn't keep her sanity in place as she tried to peek at his eyes. At all times, she would try to hide from them, and she would fail, and end up drowning in them. The sunshine she had given him would reflect back the moonlight and the night would pull her down deeper with him.

_You will fall and I will fall with you,  
I will drown and you will take me down, down, down_…

The Light made no regret as she was taking the full last step into thin air. Her soul was tainted and her heart was defiled, showing no hesitation still as she reached for the door once again. She would keep on trying. She would keep on falling. Until the end of her memories…  
Until the lonely and distant voice trailed out silently from the cold-hearted darkness…and like a sharpest needle, it stabbed through her stinging heart mercilessly...

"_Yuuki, what am I to you?"_

And then she was falling. And then she was drowning.  
Searching for an answer in her endless dreams.  
She would not stop trying.

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**To be continue...**

Wow, did I really mention her name after 2 long long chapters? Oooooh I did...I still can't believe it...I hadn't intended to do so though...  
But it's no big deal, is it? I should try adding some more conversations in later chapters or else you guys will get bored of the muteness and lameness -______-

Btw, here are some notes, if you want to find out the meaning of those Latin.  
_Amethystus_: Amethyst  
_Argentum_: Silver  
I already translated the titles, didn't I? Feel free to ask me if you're unsure of anything.

Also I feel like telling you that the updates might take longer than this one since my university will restart soon and I seriously need to go back to drawing, I've missed it like hell and writing has taken too much of my time. Forgive me if I make you guys wait too long, but in return, I might give you another Zero drawing next time. Yes, another, because I finished a sketch of him a while ago. You can go check my homepage (in my profile) to see it. Thank ya~

**Again, review to make me happy? You know I will love you forever if you do** **:D**

**~Julye  
**


	3. Labores Solis

**Hi, I'm finally back.**

My love and regard for ones who have reviewed. My apology for taking so long. Not that I have been writing all the time for this chapter, because the matter of the truth is, I only update one chapter when I get the next one finished. That means this chapter had been done before I updated chapter 2, and the same to chapter 2 and 1. Actually I was just busy with drawing and all, as I said before, and the truth that I didn't want to update too soon XD _No reason though._  
Anyways, this is one hell of a killer chapter and it took me forever (a whole week, actually T_T)!!! I thought I was never gonna finish it because writing about Zero was damn painful! I practically collapsed right after finishing it, and I got sick for a whole week after. And the fact is, it was the longest chapter I've ever written. I'm kinda proud of it. A little bit.

And I'd like to reply to my lovely reviewers that I couldn't send my regard via email from the last time. If I forget anyone, shoot me!

**El-chan:** Aw did I make you cry? -_headdesk_- I'm sorry. But thank you for reading and reviewing, my dear! -_hugs_- Thank you for your Zero drawing for me too!

**Tifa-chan:** You know, your reviews here and in the FC totally made my day! I loved them so much! Thank you Tifa-chan, I will write more, ne?

**Sha-chan:** Haha yeah I do, indeed. As for your request...ugh you know this one is Angst and Supernatural right? I really want to add some more fluff, but I'm not sure if I can. I will try, alright? Thank you for your review! One more thing...Lavi for sharing, you asked? Well, he belongs to everyone, right? He's just mine in this fic and in my FC, so no worries XD As long as you love him enough, he's yours either.

**Yumi-chan:** You said you didn't know what to say but you left me your review after all. I was so glad, you know? Thank you so much! _-glomps-_

_Time's up! -coughcough-_ _Now back to the chapter~_

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**Summary:**  
_As he the cold darkness turned to vanish into thin air, the sunshine herself came to the point of shattering into pieces. The rain would cease, the mist would fade, but the pain would forever remain in her immortality. Believing their love could see them through in death, the death that do them not part, she would choose to stay still, or to slip away?_ Zeki.

**Warning in this chapter:**  
Spoilers from chapter 24. Just a little part, when Zero almost kissed Yuuki. It was just too sweet to deny.  
Zeki. Not their supporter, please do not blame me.  
Super angst and depressing this time, because it's Zero we're talking about, hello!  
Okay my poetic writing was back!  
No more sweetness this time.  
Long.  
This one was from Zero's POV! YAY!!!! I love Zero! My love for him is invincible!_  
Also if you want to understand this chapter completely, you should read chapter 2 first, they were kinda related._

**Word Count: 4,843 ***dies***  
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**Disclaimer:  
**As usual, Julye doesn't own anything of VK, but she swears she will steal Zero from Hino-sensei soon. Very soon indeed.  
**Lavi:** Jul doesn't need me anymore. Fine, farewell! _-walks away-_  
**Jul:**_ -gasps-_ WAIT LAVI!! I'm sorry!!!_  
So eventually Jul still owns nothing but Lavi. Oh well~  
_

* * *

3 . **L a b o r e s **.** S o l i s **

_(Eclipse of the Sun)_

_And you've tried so hard to save me  
How is it ever possible for you to save someone from themselves?  
For all those years, all those times, you've kept on trying,  
Wasted wishes drowning in the meaningless wishing well_…

Because the unbreakable chains were still here, in my broken heart, and the cold door was still there, forever remained untouchable in my never-ending agony.

_Why do you keep trying in vain?_

He could not understand. For more than once, he thought this girl was stupid. No, hopelessly stupid, to be exact.  
How was it possible for her to care that much for an inferior monster such as himself?  
How was it possible for her to smile so sweetly at him after having him almost suck the dearly precious life that he treasured more than anything out of her oh-so-slim figure, like nothing had ever happened?  
How was it possible for her to rip her angel wings apart and willingly jump off the golden mountain top to fall with him, to go down and down and down alongside him into the unfathomable darkness with no escape?  
How was it possible for her…no, for him, to let her do it?

Stupid.

No longer did he know who to blame. Sure she was stupid, doing such trivial things for this soon-going-to-die and disgusting, he always made sure to add the word, night-creature. But that way he would be far more than a stupid fool for allowing all of those things to happen with closed eyes, absolutely incapable of withholding any of her obstinate attempt on getting closer to where she never should have been.

It obviously was him to blame for being stupid.

For being useless. Uncontrollable. Weak. Pathetic.  
For being born in this cruel circle of life since day one.  
For everything he had lost and for nothing he had become.

For everything and for nothing. For everything and for nothing. He had always been a perfect number of nothingness and meaninglessness. He always had.

And he wanted her to understand that. He would do anything and everything to make her understand. No matter how many times she said it was okay, no matter how many times she tried to make him understand that there was nothing to be ashamed nor to blame himself.  
Because it was her who needed to understand. And it was him to blame.

The enormously morbid hunger for blood had come to lacerate his humanity and made a promise to lie beneath the frozen facade of his cold, soulless eyes until the day he finally let go of the painful struggle within and allowed the blood-thirsty monster to conquer all over. And then everything would no longer matter, and then there would be nothing but blood and blood and blood. Blood that would not only soak his tattered white shirt nor taint his already dead soul but blood that would cover his losing body, his losing heart, his losing spirit and his vision would be definitely painted in that sickening crimson hue. Such a beautiful picture, the irony would laugh eagerly, because everything would be showered in red and nothing else and the dully-silver rain would turn crimson as he would be standing there, waiting for it to pour down ceaselessly and bathing in it. The curse of his life would become nothing, the cruelty of his fate would vanish, the resentment and self-loathing would disappear completely and he would be left out with nothing but an irresistible crave for that red red liquid, the color of damnation he had come to hate with all his heart and all his soul.

_Oh how he loathed what he had become  
And how he feared what he would become._

But that was reality, and he was fully aware of it and what would be awaiting him at the dawn of this oh-so-long black night. No matter how hard he tried to run away from it, it would always come back to him. Just like her. She kept coming back to him and she kept dreaming her endless dreams that he never got to know what they were all about.  
_Him…_  
He was not like her, however. He did not dream because every second passed by was already his worsening living nightmare. It never once left him alone…the worst unending dream of himself sinking in the ocean of red and crimson and blood.  
Her blood. Her heart. Her life.  
_Her everything._  
All would melt into the color of red, inking and painting and showering his nightmare in the most painful shade of death. Her death.

_Smiling and crying. Smiling and lying. Smiling and dying._

She would smile and she would die, no word would come out but amber irises filling with tears and shaking body covering with blood would be more than enough to cut through his already torn heart and send him straight to the bottom of the deepest and darkest raging Inferno, wounded soul would be swallowed mercilessly in eternal flames of never-ending agony and torture, for ever and for never.

_No…No… NO!!!!!!!!_

It couldn't be possible.  
He couldn't take that. He wouldn't take that. No matter how many times those torturing nightmares had come crashing down on him, suffocating him, or even killing him over and over again, he still could not stand the miserable fear whenever it came to her. It had been haunting him all the time, the thought of her lying and dying in a pool of that damn color, tears kept falling and blood kept flooding yet that smile never once leaving her lips. It was all too much, too much for him to handle.  
He could not stand it anymore. He thought he was going to burst into shards.

_And then she came._  
Just as before. Just as always.

He was still going to explode, the painful nightmare was still clinging onto him. His heart was covered and his thoughts entangled in the deadly maze of reality. His world was spinning around and the blackness was hugging him tighter.

_How could it ever have felt so real? How could it ever be so real? So real…_

And then reality was brought back to his doomed night as those soft soft hands reached out, and his ever oh-so-cold and emotionless face was immediately snapped out, overwhelming with the warmth that he knew only belonged to his Light.

"_I found you…"_

Her hands were so warm, so warm and her whisper was just so sweet that it even hurt him further and further, recalling of the horrible prospect that would come to his unlighted life sooner or later, and then he would…she would…  
His bitterly mental voice trailed off, broken in tremulous fear and utter horror, only to find small hands squeezing tighter, determination spreading across pale white facade and concern burning inside big chocolate orbs.  
And the warmth was still staying the same and the faint smile still lingering in the cold air.

Because she had found him again. Because she would never let go of him anymore. Because she was his Light and her warmth was his breath.  
As long as the warmth was still there, surrounding him, overwhelming him, the pain would very soon fade away and go back to hide itself in the darkest layer of his heart.  
As long as she was still here, he would fall over and over again.

_I will fall and you will fall with me,  
You will drown and I will take you down, down, down_…

And so he fell.

_'Because I want these gentle hands…'_

Those hands that had been keeping all the glory and luminosity of Paradise, holding tight his pain and his joy, his sorrow and his non-existent happiness, those angelic hands that once had led him to his peaceful sleep, that once had been tainted in the redness of blood flowing from his torn neck just by holding his indifferent and unmerciful hand to keep him away from his living nightmare. Those gentle hands that always, always embraced him and his cursed life right from the beginning, those hands he had always been longing for all those years, all those times. He didn't just merely want them, he hopelessly longed for them, for what he knew too well only belonged to him in his dreams.  
And he didn't dream.

_'Because I want this kind smile…'_

The brightest smile that had been blurring all the light of the immortal Sun and stealing all the splendors of the Day, the warmest smile that had reached out to his unbreakable, icy wall and crumbled it down with no tint of hesitation and no trace of fear, the kindest smile she had been holding still in front of his lonely door, waiting patiently for him to open it and let her in, allow her to warm him up with her ceaseless flame, bring him back to life with her never-ending rain, paint his world with her colorful heart, ease his pain with her soft soft hand, _and stay there with him forever._  
The most beautiful smile that he didn't just merely want. It was what he had wanted, he had needed, but most of all he had desperately longed for all those years, all those times. He wanted it so much, needed it so much, yet he couldn't do anything but want and need and long because he knew better than anyone that it had never belonged to him, and it never would, even in his dreams.  
And he didn't dream.

So she would keep smiling and he would keep longing. They would keep going their way and never get to know what the other was holding still behind the dark curtain. As the twilight came to fill the cold air, he had got to see nothing but the pure white snow falling on the mountaintops, and there she stood, amazing shining for the whole universe to see. And when she filled him with her light and his emptiness overwhelmed in that ever kindest smile, he knew.  
He knew that an angel had been sent to watch over him, to pull him out of his void, to rescue him.  
He knew that he longed for her, not just her gentle hands and her smile and her light but her everything.  
He also knew that he could not reach for her, could not have her, because she already belonged to someone else, her Charming King. Not him, never him.  
_He knew he never should have wanted such a thing._

So he dropped it.

It was so close, so close that he almost touched that smile and claimed it his. It was so close that he almost kissed her.  
_But he didn't._  
Because he had no right to do that. He had no right to take anything more from her than he already had. Her purity has been tainted by his blood and her life had been defiled by his sin. She'd already been so close to his door, and it was his fault for letting her go this far, for letting all of those feelings escalate to this level, yet he still refused to let her come closer. He couldn't pull her deeper with him, he just couldn't.  
And because he didn't sense a hand of the irony laying on them, binding his eyes and his mind, he never ever got to know that all those things, for all those years she had done, were just for _him_.  
He never knew those gentle hands were destined to embrace him and no one else, and that kind smile belonged to one and only one person.  
_Him…_  
She was hesitant and she was confused and she was unsure, but she always knew what she wanted and what she was trying to do. She might be the light, but without him, she would be nothing, because he was the only thing and everything for her to shine.

_But he had never known.  
And he would never know._

It was so close that she almost touched the door and open it. It was so close that she almost got to taste her first kiss, with him.  
_But she didn't._  
Because he had stopped. Because he had dropped it. And it hurt her so much finding herself once again standing alone in the world of black and red, restlessly staring at the door as the soft breath of sorrow continued to clench her aching heart, the bloody scent continued to pour down on her.  
It hurt, it really did. She'd already been so close to his door, and when she thought she was going to make it through, he tossed her aside like a stone, blowing all her hope away. And she still got to know nothing at the end.  
Because just like him, never ever had she imagined of the ironic truth that the key which could unlock the door was no one else than _herself_. And what had been hidden behind that door all the time beings was nothing but a place, a very very tiny space that had been kept from the very beginning for one and only one person.  
_Her…_  
A place for her to stay forever…

_But she had never known.  
And she would never know._

Thus a wheel of time had been set again. They kept going their way and never got to know what the other was holding still behind the dark curtain. He would run and she would chase. He would tell her to stay away and she would ignore his words and come closer. It would be a never-ending circle, he just knew it, because he would always keep pushing her away from his sight, for her own safety, and she, being as stubborn as the way she was, would keep on following him everywhere.

_A long way to nowhere._

She would keep on trying, _over and over again_. Because she wanted him to live, and to her, his life was far more important than hers and her King's and everyone's else, and she would willingly sacrifice herself and her purity and everything just to save him. Even if he would never forgive her for doing so.  
She didn't mind.

And he would keep on shoving her away, _over and over again_. Because he didn't want to haze the pure light and pull her closer into the darkness than he already had. Because he cared for her wholeheartedly, and hurting her was the last thing he ever wanted to do in his entire so-called life.  
Because he wanted to keep her safe… She never knew a thing, but just like her, he treasured her precious life more than anything in this world, and he would sacrifice himself and his damned life and everything he ever had just to protect her, to save her. Even if it would make her hate him forever.  
He didn't mind.  
He just wanted her safe, that was all he ever wished for.  
Because he was nothing and she was everything.  
_His everything._

She had never known and she would never get to know and he would never let her know.  
Because, unlike her, he was hardly hesitant and he was barely confused and he was never unsure. He always knew what he wanted and what he was trying to do. _For her._  
Because he knew that deep down inside, he had always had a feeling for her.

Because Goddammit, **he loved her**.

_He loved her._

More than anything. More than he could ever know. He did, he truly did.  
Always and always. He had loved her yesterday. He did love her today. And he would love her tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and the days afterward.  
From the beginning of life to the end of time.  
_Make it forever. _

But she never knew. Never had, never would.  
And he would not let it happen.

The Dark Knight was fallen in love with the Princess of Light, but he never let a single word come out, because he did not believe in dreams and the rainbow colors entwined in such fairy tales. His so-called life was like a broken mirror that every time he stared at it, he would see nothing but the shadow of himself reflected by the crimson of hunger in his eyes and the cruel laughter of darkness embracing every inch of his everlasting sorrow. As the gear of fate had settled, his name had been cursed beyond measure, and the ever-living nightmare was an ironic present he had received for reluctantly signing his own name in the game of bloody madness.  
A mystic's myth or fable, truth or fairytale, it was all the same. The curse of insanity still lied within his heart and his mind and his spirit and his soul, imprisoning himself to the cruelty of the night, and chaining his love to the silver cage of anger and hatred and resentment and fear and loneliness. As the days died alongside his once humanity and all the bloody tears flowing back, stinging the inside of his broken amethyst glasses, he thought he had lost it. The love must have been eaten up, and he would be chained in there forever.

But she came.

_You came into my world, saw through my eyes…_

The icy wall he had tried so hard to set was crumbled down.  
The apathetic and indifferent mask he had put on was taken off, revealing the silver cage with all of his anger and hatred and resentment and fear and loneliness.  
And all of them were faded away one by one as his darkening lavender color withering at every single step that brought her closer to him.  
That was close. So close that she could almost touch the door. _One step closer, and she would know._

_You walked through the wall  
And burst into the cold darkness  
Already a legend of Light  
Like an unwashed phenomenon  
You strayed into my frozen arms  
And there you stayed…  
With the promise to stay with me forever,  
You fell for the spell I was under…_

For the first time he had laid his tormented eyes on her, he could see Heaven falling into the crimson-amber eyes burning with love and light. As for all those years, all those times, when she was trying so hard to remain by his side and shower him with her love and fill his void with her life, he was struggling painfully with everything inside so as not to hurt her, and not to love her.  
However, through all the laughter dropping from her red red lips and all the tears shedding from her beautiful eyes, she'd conquered his heart, entirely. And he had failed, sweetly and miserably.  
The cage was broken and all the anger and hatred and resentment were slipping back into the depths of his soul. He tried his best to keep the fear and loneliness still to cover his love in the darkness, so she would never get a chance to open the door. And she would never know.

Yet he couldn't help but love her.  
So much. Too much.

_Gently and silently and mildly he loved her…_  
It was in her eyes that the sun was burning in love,  
It was in her heart that the light was pure as winter snow,  
It was in her tears that the crystal raindrops fell, piercing his heart and melting his soul  
She fell and his world would crumble down  
She laughed and a faint smile would find its way to his frozen lips  
Following a ray of light all the night and day through  
All became the same peace of life when she was near.

_Strongly and deeply and passionately he loved her…  
_Like a wind of hurricane,  
Like the candles burning without any resilience,  
He battled his shadows and demons in every single second of his life,  
And with her by his side, smiling and offering and sacrificing,  
He would kill and he would save,  
He would conquer the Night and he would die.

_Desperately and hopelessly and agonizingly he loved her…_  
Tracing the trails through the broken mirror that reflected every single piece of his own sorrow and horror and misery and despair,  
Spinning in circles of the doomed life with unmeasurable hates and unbearable loathings and unshed tears.  
He dived into the ocean of red and crimson and scarlet  
Fearless amber boring into tortured amethyst  
His heart stung and his soul broke  
He would ignore and he would run  
He would turn and he would keep on shoving her away.

_With all his heart and all his soul he loved her.  
_Just because he loved her._  
So much. Too much._

Silent as the wings of a bloody song  
Spinning in never-ending agony  
Coming from the cold deserted and icy sands  
Painted in utter_ black of death_ and _red of horror_  
His love for her would _forever_ stay as a hazy shadow in the darkest night.

And when the mockery of fate raised its laughter again, the chilling sounds showered his world in another bloody rain as he felt the raging Hell reached out for his damned life one more time.

The Sun faded away. The Day turned gray. The Light died down.

_The Princess was stolen and fallen forever._

As the Light turned to Dark and his Angel fell into the never-ending night, the Moon fell down and the living Hell was finished eating up the last piece of his soul, and there he collapsed, diving into the inviting Death and he himself had finally escaped from the fallen Sunshine.  
To become an Eclipse of the Sun.

* * *

**To be continue~**

Woo, that was the last piece of my prologue! And the last thing I'll ever write in a long time ahead. School will restart tomorrow, which means I'm not able to write anything more until my summer break. Oh what a long time...  
Enough of complaining. For now, thank you so much for reading. I know this chapter was depressing, but I couldn't help it. The depression will be increasing at each chapter and either will be the length. I am sorry if I ever upset you with my writing, but their story is a tragedy itself right at the beginning, I can't go any other way but this.  
Hope you understand.  
Criticisms and flames are welcome (just in case you are a Zeki lover. If not, no thanks~)

**~Julye**

Reviews make me happy. And when I'm happy, I can write a lot. So please do not hesitate to drop me your review. I sure will read them and reply, you know that.  
Besides, don't you think the green button below is cute? :D

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